El sgher, Mohamed

Instructor Mohd Muzhafar Idrus (Mozac)

English Gold A2

4 April 2010

The Marriage Journey in Libya and South Korea

Due to the globalization, wedding ceremonies seem to become somehow alike all over the world. However, there are still some distinct traditions in the marriage process between Libya and South Korea. The differences are starting from choosing the spouse to the honeymoon including: dating and engagement, wedding and gifts exchange, and expenses honeymoon.

Generally speaking, Eastern cultures are conservative to some extent, and the behavior of an individual is significantly influenced by the society. Dating is still different between the Libyans and the South Koreans. In South Korea, sweethearts find each other’s by themselves through dating similarly to the Western cultures. According to that, Korean couples start hanging out, eating out, and even sleeping with each other once they get on well with each other. On the contrary, dating is strictly prohibited and considered an evil deed that brings big shame to individuals and families in Libya. Consequently, a Libyan man chooses his spouse based on characteristics that can be examined without being very close to her such as high morals, honesty, faithfulness, mercy, patience and beauty. A spouse with these qualities can be found either by the man himself who could be her workmate, classmate, or relative or by somebody else like a sister, a friend or parents could recommend a spouse for a man. Once he found her, the man asks the girl indirectly whether she accepts getting married to him or not by sending his sister, his aunt, or his parents to her.

Engagement is also dissimilar in the two cultures, and it has an important difference for the Libyans and South Koreans. While the engagement in South Korea is just an opportunity to introduce the couples to each other’s families, it is the most important chance for the couples to know about each other before they decide whether to get married or not in Libya. Although it is not the time yet for the fiancées to be involved in any sexual relationship, it is the time when they can meet regularly in public places and discuss everything that helps to make the decision of getting married or breaking the engagement. The engagement typically lasts for six months, yet it still depends on individual couples both in Libya and South Korea.

Again, wedding ceremonies are prominently different comparing Libyan and South Korean traditions. To illustrate, the wedding in South Korea starts when the groom sends Ham (silk garment) combined with a proposal letter wrapped in red cloth called Bojagi to stem all bad spirits. Thereafter the bride makes clothes for her parents-in-law using the Ham and sends them back as they are called Yedan to the groom’s home. More over both the families of the bride and the groom gather in one place to make the wedding party. Long time ago, it used to be held in the bride’s house not like now in hotels and rented halls (Kim 1-3). On the other hand, there are two separate wedding parties’ celebrated by each family of the spouses in Libya. In other words, each family is responsible for its party expenses, and each family has its own guests who are usually the friends, neighbors, and relatives of the spouse and her/his parents. Another difference between the Korean and Libyan wedding is that the groom and his family send Kiswa which combines many gifts for the bride like, Jewelries, handmade traditional dresses, shoes, perfumes, make up accessories, clothes, and also some gifts for the bride’s parents in addition to sweets and cakes.

Besides, expenses and financial responsibilities are not the same to the groom in Libya and South Korea. In fact the groom in Libya is fully responsible for providing the accommodation, furniture, appliances and the other things necessary for married life. Whereas the groom in South Korea is only responsible for the accommodation, and the bride’s duty is to provide the furniture and appliances.

Furthermore, the groom in Libya has to give amount of money called Mahr to the bride and her parents as a dowry which doesn’t exist in South Korean tradition. Also the groom in Libya has to pay for all expenses honeymoon including tickets, hotels, entertainment, meals and even shopping bills. However, both the family of the bride and the groom in South Korea are sharing expenses honeymoon.

To sum up, the marriage journey that single people take to become married is totally different in Libya compared to South Korea. For instance, while dating in South Korea is the way by which couples find their matches. However, it is not allowed for couples to do that because it is prohibited in our religion. Further, engagement is much more significant for Libyan people than South Koreans. Regarding the gifts exchange, Libyans groom provides the Kiswa while the South Korean groom provides the Ham. In addition to that, Libyan groom is responsible for more financial commitments than the South Korean groom such as appliances, dowry and honeymoon.

Works-Cited

Kim, Mi Hyun. “Hee-Won Han Gets Hitched.” Seoul Sisters. Web N.d.1.5. (14 Jan. 2004): 1-3